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June 30 EV = EeeVilA lot of people know that EV = Emotion Vampire, but last night, I found out that it could also mean EeeVil. Why? Here's the conversation I had with her last night, (I have to stress the last night bit) Me: Why are you going to sleep so early tonite? EV: Because I have a lot of work to do tomorrow... Me: Ohhh... EV: Eh? Who's playing in the next round of World Cup? Me: Hmmmm, Germany vs Argentina-lo, then Italy vs Ukraine-lo, EV: You plan to watch the 3am matches? Me: No-la! Not enough energy, I'll only watch the 11pm matches. EV: So, what have you been doing these past few days? Watching football? Me: No-la, got two days rest. No football for two days. ^_^ EV: What time is Germany playing? Me: 11pm-lo... EV: Eh, are they playing now?? Me: It's 11:22pm, SH**TTT!!!! The match has started!! EV: Haha!! What-la you, forget about the match-la! Me: Ok! Ok! Bye Bye!! ** A few minutes later ** Me: ....$#@$#$%$^#%@#$ (grumbling) EV: HEWWWOOOO??? Me: You are SOOO EEEVVVIIILLL... EV: HAHAHHAHA.. Why??? Me: You tricked me! You bloody tricked me!! There's no match today!!! EV: HAHAHAHAHA!!! Eh? I thought Germany playing at 11pm? Me: They are playing..............on Friday. EV: MUAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAA (Evil laughter) Me: -____-||| EV: Why you so stupid!! Today is only Thursday! Me: You tricked me!!!! You evil, evil person... True to her name, EV is not just an Emotion Vampire but she is just pure evil.... -_- June 26 Football and Timing...Ever since WC2006 (World Cup 2006) started, I've been rather busy with the matches, since I can only either catch the match at 11pm instead of 3am. :(((( Anyway, a couple of interesting snippets of conversation took place between EV and I... **EV's EVIILLL Ringtone rings --- The Muppets** Me: Sei-lo (die-la), she calling again... Me: Harrrlloooo??? EV: Why you never call me? Me: 0__0, was I supposed to call you? -- Talk about nonsense for about.... 30 minutes... (BRAIN MEGA-SUCK!) -- Me: The sky is blue... No no... ZZZZzzzzzzZZZZ EV: ???? What are you talking?? Me: Zzzzzzz... Rooney will play next match... ZZZzzzzzzz EV: OOOIII!!!! Wake up!! I'm paying for this call! You talking nonsense now!! Me: Hehhh??? What?? (Wipes drool from face) EV: YOU FELL ASLEEP while I was talking!! Me: Oops! Heheh.. ^_^ EV: You watching so much football at 3am esit?? Me: Errr.. If I can-la. Usually, I'll catch the midnite match. EV: Waaahhh!! Like that, can you function at work tomorrow? Me: Can-la!! (Confidence) EV: Sure or not?! (Demotivate) Me: Suuurrrreeee... ZZZZzzzzzzz.... Argentina.... GOOOAAALL!!!!... ZZZzzz... EV: 0_____0.... Hey! Its not my fault that I was falling asleep when she called. I'm dead tired from work and she is trying to perform a MEGA BRAIN SUCK operation that night or.. was it morning? I have a bad feeling that if EV were next to me, she'll probably zap me with an electric tazer or something...  Anyway, my brain is working at 80% capacity during the day due to WC2006. Sorry for any weird ramblings about England and how Sven Goran-Eriksson should be hung by his gonads due to England's lacklustre performance at WC2006... Meanwhile, enjoy the 2nd round! I'll post another conversation with EV again later... Heeee..  June 15 Girls & Balls Don't MixErrrmmm... I'm thinking about football... So banish those dirty thoughts!!!! Anyway, since the Greatest Show On Earth has started, I have been pretty much glued to the TV from 9pm to 2am (if I can manage the midnite matches... kekeke). So, I've been neglecting EV for a while. Finally, she decided to call up. **EV's Diabolical Ringtone.... Muppet** Me: Sei-lo!! EV calling.... (o_0) NOTE: "Sei-lo" is cantonese for Die-lo **Press Answer button** Me: HARRRLLOOOOO!!! Hao May I Heps Chu? (Hello, How may I help you?) EV: You didn't call me!!!!! What have you been doing??!!! Me: .... Was watching World Cup-lo... EV: Really? Is it still on???? Me: .... (clutching heart) Me: It should be still on. It would be on for an entire month. EV: WHHHAATTT???!! Sooo long??? How come? I thought they play 1 game and then, get knocked out? So, finals should be soon! Me: ... (gasping for air) Me: No-la! They play round-robin system. After this round, the top two winners of the group will play each other. Then, will get knocked out until the finals. EV: Ohhhhh... How many teams-ar? Me: 32 EV: Wahhh!!! So many!!!!!! Mai take 1 month to gao tim-lo! Me: That's what I've been trying to say..... (-___-) You can't blame EV. She doesn't know sports. If you give her a football, she'll most likely bounce it like a basketball. If you give her a basketball, she'll probably kick it like a football. -___________-||| Anyway, I'm happily enjoying my WC2006. Like I said to some friends, we'll know who the winners will be but it'll be interesting to see who can make it to the quarter and semi-finals of WC2006. **EV's Diabolical Ringtone rings again....** Me: Harrlooo!!! EV: Eh! Got one question to ask you. Me: Yeah? EV: Why I hear that South Korea will play Australia again? I thought they lost? Me: 0___0 Me: Errr... They're playing round-robin system. Means, they'll play everyone in the same group. The top two in the group will advance to the next stage. By the way, South Korea beat Togo... Where you get your news from??? EV: Ohhhh... Eh, so, now Germany is the highest-la, they can advance-la. Me: Hard to say, because they haven't finished playing everyone else! EV: Eh? Its not like badminton-ar? Once you lose, you are out? Me: Noooooo... That's different system. EV: So, is this part of the rules? Me: What rules? EV: The rules of football? Me: ........ Me: Nooo... Its just rules of the competition. EV: Ohhhhh.... Me: This is just the fundamentals-la. Imagine if I have to teach you the offside rule. EV: Ahhh??? I'm not interested... Well, EV's not the only one who knows nuts about football. My other friends happen to not know it as well. Friend: Hey, what have you been doing? Busy with work? Me: Nah... Just busy with football Friend: Eh? You play? Me: No, watching WC2006 Friend: WC... what?? Me: You know.. World Cup? Friend: World Cup of... ??? Me: Football? Soccer?? Brazil?? (hoping to see some spark) Friend: Oh!! That! Isn't that over yet? Me: .... 0____0... What? It just started! We've still got a month to go! Friend: Ohhhh... Sorry, I don't know much about football. Hence... The image...
Kekeke.. LOL!!! June 04 Romance NovelsI never did understood anything about Romance novels. The saga about boy meeting girl (or girl meeting girl or guy meeting girl.. have to be PC these days..  ) never really panned out for me. I did read a couple of "classic" Romance stories like Phantom of The Opera by Gaston Leroux(the book NOT the musical...-___-|||) and Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen but that was it. I couldn't subjet myself to the wishy-washy declaration of undying love (or lust) for ____ <-- fill in name of lead male character and ____ <-- fill in name of lead female character. I found out that my favourite genre was Fantasy, Sci-Fi and Short stories (mainly Roald Dahl... not dahl curry...) AND **yawn** classic books by the ancient writers like Plato and Homer (yes.. I have a copy of The Illiad). Well, I found out that most of my gal pals (those who read) are fans of the odd Romance novel or authors and they have read famous authors like Amanda Quick and Judith McNaught. Anyway, EV and a few other pals have been long big fans of romance novels. They used to borrow like crazy and when they could afford it, they'll even buy some. When we visit the bookstore, me, being the geek, will run off towards the IT/Eng/Business section, while she lingers around the Romance section. It's easy to find where the Romance section is, its the place where there are a lot of books with pictures of semi-naked guys/gals and mainly pink (bright pink) covers on the shelves. I avoid going to that section as it gives me: 1. Instant headahe (due to massive overload of too much pink) 2. A possiblility of dying by laughter when I read the back covers of such books if no. 1 doesn't kill me first... 3. WHHHATTTT?? (cannot comprehend the main storyline of how boy n gal meet - vampire story) Anyway, some of my pals seem to have a lopsided view of Romance. They are STILL waiting for that one guy to sweep them off their feet and I wonder if it is because of they have been reading too much Romance novels. In real life, guys are a lazy bunch. Some of them will go the extra mile to woo the gal, but after that, they settle down to just doing nothing (i.e. I already got the girl-ma, what for do more, right or not?). Have you seen any Romance novels about married/engaged couples? It doesn't seem to generate any sales, rite? Anyway, if Romance novels were not filled with sizzling sex parts and passion, it won't sell, right? Well, its a billion-dollar industry, supported by millions of fans who are just wishing for more passion and spark in their relationship. Hmmmm... Well, this doesn't work for me. However, I've gotta say, I'm a sucker for certain Romance flicks but then, I get very nausceous afterwards...  May 11 EV Updates from HK Disneyland!!!The wonders of telecomunication.
EV manages to suck my blood even though she's about a few thousand km away.
 Yes... Yes.. She has activated... REMOTE SUCKING!!! EEEEEEEEeeeeeeeEEEEEE...Here's a sample of her SMS:
"Me at HK disneyland. Bought a nice t-shirt for you. With all the character. Do you want another pooh bear?"
Awwwww.. Its so nice for her to rub in the salt that she's at HK Disneyland while I'm slogging away at work everyday and night.
Well, the pooh bear thing is because I had a nice pooh bear for company back in uni, alongside my dinosaur. Don't ask me about Dino.. errr.. the dinosaur.
 Anyway, I'm guessing that she wanted to get the pooh because I lost my t-shirt some years back. Anyway, its nice of EV to get me a souvenir. Hehehe... Am looking forward to my gift.  Thanks!!!!!May 04 Hey! I'm 29.. again!!(( YAWN )) Hard to stay awake these days... Must not watch too much anime. ** Beep ** **Beep ** Aiya! Another SMS... Let me see, from who... Oh!! Its EV. I wonder if she's continuing with her torturous blackmail SMS... "You went to sleep alry? Anyway, its after my bday. I'm 29 again... :-D...." What the??? What nonsense is this??? (( Proceed to call EV )) EV: Harlo? Yeah? Me: What's all this nonsense about you turning 29 again?? EV: Ohhh.. Yeah what... Its officially not my b'day anymore. So, I'm 29-la again... Me: ????? -___-" EV: Hehehehe ((fake laff )) Me: So, what does that make me? 28? EV: Yealo! You should be 28!! Me: ???????? This conversation is going nowhere. No point reasoning with you. EV: Hehehehe ((fake laff )) Wait-la! Wait until your b'day comes!! No idea what made EV regress in her age. Hmmm... Anyway, I wonder what I'll go through on my b'day this year. Hehe... May 02 Happy B'day EV...
Hehehe... Happy B'day EV. You're officially older than you were last year.
May this year bring you more joy and blessings. May you enjoy sucking more blood.... I mean.. May you enjoy your b'day greetings, gifts and food that your other vict... I mean... friends bring...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! April 28 Suck/Vomit BloodIt's that time of year again... Come towards the end of April, people start to be very flustered and out of breath. Why? Because its tax time... This year, was a special year, its the 2nd year that self-assessment is fully enforced by our dear blood-suck... I mean very important IRB (Inland Revenue Board or affectionately known as LHDN - Lembaga Hasil Dalam Negeri). How else will the wheels of government turn (slow or fast depending on which end of the wheel you are at) if not without being oiled by our hard-earned $$$? Anyway, I mentioned that this year was very special because the new electronic submission of our dear Borang BE (for individual) or Borang B (for business), called e-HASiL, which made life easier for a lot of people who find the manual submission a bit too much of a hassle, i.e. 1. Get form & fill up - GGGGGRRRRR... 2. Check form - Name... kolek, I/C no... kolek, tax to pay: rm200... ????!!!?? 3. Go to IRB branch office - %^$%#%#$%$#.. Traffic jam!!! 4. Queue up - @#$%$^$.. Long queue!! 5. Pass form to officer & get acknowledgement - **phew** 6. Go home.. & pray that all is well... :) With the new system, all you need is to get the pin no from the IRB branch - just show them your I/C and fill up the form there, go home, and register to download the digital certificate to your PC. You can download the form (a software which utilizes Adobe Acrobat 7.x) and then, begin filling up your form. No more hassle with the calculator as the form has built-in formulae to calculate the various amounts as you fill up certain columns. When you're done, all you need to go is to sign the form digitally and submit to the e-HASiL. KAO TIM! Haha.. Anyway, the point of my story is not just to applaud the application, but also to relate something funny. Kekeke... This year, for some reason, I had quite a number of questions to ask, and so, naturally, I turn to my fountain of wisdom.. EV. Yes... Yes.. I've got to endure some hours of mental torture... o_0... But then, this is important, I'm filling taxes and so, I'll endure it. Keke.. A snippet of conversation... EV: Halo!! Yes??!! Me: ** cough ** ** cough** EV: Eh?? I thought someone is sick... Cannot do work... Must tidur early... You bluff or what? So, what you want??! Me: ......... People sick but still got to do work... EV: You don't pretend... You bluff one.. MUAHAHAAHHA Me: -__-"....... EV: Quick! Tell me what you want? Me: I want to be super powerful and rich. Can or not? Kakaka.... EV: Haha.. Dream-la you.. Quck... what you want?? ** Some pause ** Me: Eh.. ((trying to sound innocent)), I want to ask you some tax questions... EV: Wah?? Why you got so many questions one??? That day ask me about the computer, this time, what? Me: Eh.. I saw something weird in my EA form-le, dunno what to do... EV: Aiyooo.. what-la? They add in more $$ esit? If like that, good-la.. Pay more to government.. Muahahaha!!! Me: ....... Me: No-la!! I want to ask, why they put in that amount for 2004 in 2005 EA?? EV: Hah??? What?? Hmmm.. I don't know-le.. You just add in to the form-la as per your EA form... Should be ok-la. Now, quick... Any more questions????? Why you ask me so many times, one... You got a lot of $$$ owed by government-ar? Me: Aiyo.. You wish-la... Hmmmm... I think that's all kua. If I got more, can I call you back? EV: Aiyooo... Today is what day liao... You not yet submit, you will get fined-le... Me: You-le! Tok so much. Submitted liao or not? EV: Ehehheee (fake laff)... I will submit tomorrow during lunch... Me: Nah... See!!!! Cakap banyak! You also!!! Lousy!!! Anyway, that was yesterday. This afternoon, I managed to get hold of the pin from the IRB office and then, called EV to tell her about the good news... Me: Eh.. I got the pin liao... Fast-le EV: Then, you submitted liao or not?? Me: Norchet... Will do it when I get home tonite... I may call you again because I may have some questions again.. EV: ** vomit blood ** Kekekee... For the first time in a long time, I've managed to make EV vomit blood. Hahaha.. Finally.. I've managed to turn the tables on her. LOL!!! Anyway, my submission went fine. I just hope that all goes well for the rest of you folks out there who are planning to submit your taxes this weekend. Good luck!! April 19 Haunted Gates - Angie's VersionHahaha...
**Driving home to Linda's place **
Me: Heheehehhee... blablabla...
Friend #1: HAHAHAHA... Bla bla bla..
Linda: Hahahahaahhaa bla bla bla... Ehhh...
** Driving closer to Linda's place **
** Automatic gates swinging wildly... **
Me, Friend #1, Linda: .........
Me: Apasal-ar? What happened to your gates?
Friend #1: Eh, yea-lo... har?? Why your gates like that one?
Linda: Oh, I think it must be my Dad. The gate has been sot-sot for a while. He's probably doing some testing.
Me, Friend #1: ......
** Drive further a bit from Linda's place. Scared kena langgar by mad gate **
Me: Ok-la!.. Bla bla bla... Bye bye.. Becareful-ar! Don't get kepit by the gates.
Friend #1: Bai Bai... **wave**
** Linda lari like crazy to avoid being kepit by her possessed gates.**
** Later that evening **
(( DING )) - on Yahoo! (Kekeke... Talking about using Yahoo! on an MSN site.. haha)
Linda: Hey, guess what?
Me: What?
Linda: U know this afternoon about my house gates?
Me: Yea, what about it?
Linda: Turns out that it was my fault...
Me: How-la??
Linda: You know-la, dunno how, I stuff all the barang in my bag, and then I think I must have pressed my key by mistake.
 Me:
 Me: Kakakaakkakaka....
Linda: Yealo... The gates like macam possessed...
Me: Yealo, like exorcist. Kekeeke...
NOTE: Conversation could not be entirely accurate but this was the gist of what happened on April 11th 2006.
To date, Linda survived getting into her house after I dropped her off. Not sure if there were any other occurrences of the haunted gates but if there was, I'll probably drop her a contact of some Chinese "Ghostbuster".... February 24 Stranded in KL** 4:30:50 pm - Pelennor Fields, Gondor, Middle Earth **
Me: Bla, bla... This code will do this... bla, bla...
[[ Music playing ]]
Me: -_- (who is calling me at this hour)... Sorry, got to take this call.
 Koleg: Its ok...
Me: Hello?
EV: HEEEYYYY!! Can you help me with something??? I just found out that my course is cancelled and I need to see if you can go to this website to see if I can change my flight or not. bla bla bla....
Me: -_-".. .Errrr.. I'm in a meeting now
EV: I know... But can you help me??? This is my ID... bla bla bla.. bla..
Me: Ok ok...
** A few hours later - Plains of Rohan, Rohan, Middle Earth **
EV: BBBOOOO HOOOO!!! I'M STRANDED!!!!!!! HAVE TO WASTE 2 DAYS OF LEAVE.....
Me: -_- (How much more of this do I have to take???)...
Me: Its ok. Look at it as a short break for you. Besides, you can do more shopping?
EV: Shopping?? Shopping??? I didn't come down for shopping??? My leave... Me poor leave!!! I only have 18 days leffttt **crying**
Me: -_-... Don't complain-la, some of us have to live with 12 days only, you know....
EV: ** laughs out loud **
Me: -_-
Oh well... No point reasoning with EV. Anyway, she had a good couple of days off. If she had stayed on, she would have had 4 days off!! Boy, don't we all wish we had that?
Eventually, EV did managed to catch a flight back home. She was very happy that she did some shopping, though minimal. Kekee..... |
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